starting out

February 16, 2008

So, what is this about?

I recently decided to have penile implant surgery. As part of that decision, of course, I wanted information. I found just tons of clinical/medical/generic stuff, but almost nothing that took me beyond what my doctor told me regarding what to expect; what’s this really like. I consider myself to be very much like you; and we all want real life stories to help us understand what’s coming. Not because my experience will be exactly the same as yours, but my experience will provide some sense of what yours will be like. We’re not that different.

So, my partner and I decided to share this experience. Maybe it will help you a bit.

My plan for this blog is to provide updates on a regular basis for whatever period of time seems appropriate, meaning roughly that period of time where things are changing and there is something new to say. I also intend to open this so others can post. At this moment, frankly, I’m just not sure how to do so – I’m new at this – but I’ll figure it out. When I do, I’ll also figure out how (and if) this needs to be managed.

One note on images: I do intent to post images of myself; meaning my penis and general surgery area. Nothing explains like a picture. These will not be at all pornographic in nature, (and I'm not all that impressive :) ) but we’re talking “full frontal nudity” here. I think it necessary to tell the story. Certainly, one of the things I wanted to know but could not find much on was simply what does this look like immediately post surgery and thereafter.

Another note: I wish I had thought to start this before the surgery, but I didn't. I am about 3 weeks after surgery at this point, and pictures will start from there.

And another: I'm not going to spend any time here on the device itself, except as it related to my experience. There's plenty of published information on what the implant is and how it works. I got the 3 piece type, with the resevior in the tummy.

History and stuff

Let start with some basic information.

I am in my early 50s. I am an American living on the US east coast. My wife and I have been married for 27 years (wow) and have had a great life together. I am a bit overweight, was diagnosed with hypertension and type 2 diabetes some years ago. Erectile dysfunction has been part of my life, and our life, for years.

It’s always said that all men “fail” from time to time and it’s nothing to worry about. Years ago, my failures to have erections were indeed “time to time” and, aside from the frustration of the moment, I didn’t think much about it. I wonder now if these incidents were actually precursors of later issues. Can’t know for sure I suppose. However having erection issues when a man is in his late teens and early 20s, even if only occasionally, doesn’t seem within the norm.

In any case, Erectile Dysfunction became a real ongoing problem for me as much as 18 or 19 years ago, when I was in my mid thirties. My wife and I were really challenged to deal with this. This was before the introduction of Viagra, which really pushed the door open to beginning to accept this problem as a treatable, medical issue. There was little information and no real treatment. Many people thought it was always a psychological issue. And I thought so too, because I had no other way to look at it. Oddly, the problem would come and go (no dirty pun intended) on fairly long cycles. So sometimes everything would be fine for weeks or months, then it would come back. Stupidly, I never discussed this with my doctor at the time. Although I’ll credit myself with never being much concerned with “macho image”, I was embarrassed and, probably more importantly, had no information to suggest this was a common problem or that it was treatable. I have since learned that, even then, medical folks understood this was a common problem and there were physical as well as psychological components, although treatment options were indeed few.

Jumping to another topic for a second, I really have to say how wonderfully supportive my wife has always been on this (as well as all other) problems. It’s always been our problem, not mine. She looks at it that way and treats me that way. More on that a bit later. But I do love her.

In any case, we started hearing about Viagra in about 1995 or 96. I was still embarrassed about the issue and reluctant to talk to the doctor. Also, at that time this was still a “sometimes” problem.

Now, a brief side comment – I have since come to really understand how much this affected my wife as well. At the time I failed to appreciate how hard it was on her to not know what to expect when we made love. She never knew if it was going to be successful or not, and what she would have to deal with in terms of being supportive of me as well as her own experience. I thought as long as she was physically satisfied things were basically ok so far as she was concerned. I was very wrong on that. If you’re reading this it’s probably because you have ED. I’m telling you, talk to your partner. Really understand what ED means to her or him, not just you.

With my wife’s encouragement, I finally talked with the doctor sometime in 1997 (I think it was) and was really relieved that he did not laugh (really, underneath I was afraid) and it was very matter of fact. I recall too that I was surprised that he did not try to say what caused it – the source of the erectile dysfunction simply was not relevant. I got a prescription and it worked! Woohoo!